Episode 10: A Freudenfreude Kind of Week

Description: Dr. Tina Boogren explores the power of freudenfreude—the genuine joy we feel when we celebrate someone else’s success or happiness. This week’s invitation encourages you to look for moments of joy in others, share in their wins, and notice how doing so lifts your own spirit, builds connection, and spreads positivity.

Resources:  Use the code Wellness20 to get 20% off Tina's book 180 Day of Physical Wellness for Busy Educators.

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Transcription: Hi, and welcome to Self-Care for Educators. I'm so happy you are here. I am Dr. Tina Boogren, your host, and this is episode 10 of season six. And this week's invitation- I love it so much- this would fall under emotional wellness. It's different than last week's two word check-in. What we're gonna do is we're gonna play with an invitation that is going to help boost our positive emotions. It's an uplifting thing to do. It's one of my favorites. And here's what it is. It is the Freudenfreude Flash. Freudenfreude. You guys, I watched a lot of YouTube videos helping me pronounce that. Some of you are cringing. I apologize. This is a German term, but that, I think that's close.

Freudenfreude. So if you've never heard of this term, this term is the opposite of a term you may know, which is schadenfreude. Again, I hope I'm saying that right. schadenfreude is where we find satisfaction in someone else's misfortune. So this is not that. This, the freudenfreude is about experiencing genuine joy and another person's happiness or success. And what's really fascinating about this is psychologists describe this as the social glue that strengthens bonds and amplifies positive emotions for both the giver and the receiver. 

So here's why it matters for our emotional wellness. So number one, it boosts our mood. So celebrating other people's achievements is actually activating the brain's rewards system, which gives us a happiness lift. Again, it strengthens relationships. So when you express joy for someone else or you feel proud of them, they feel seen, they feel valued, and that is deepening that trust and connection. 

And it counters our comparison culture. We've talked about this before, boy, especially in this world, that we are in, this this phase where we are constantly, oh, faced with the comparison that is naturally embedded in social media. Ooh. What this does is it provides kind of a counter to that. So instead of comparing and getting into that whole mind game, what we're gonna do is we are going to feel really happy for other people's successes. Instead of comparing it to where we are, we're just gonna find genuine joy. That person's on vacation. I am so happy for them. I love that for them. Right? Someone posts their kind of humble brag and you just get to say, you know what? That is great for them. That has nothing to do with me. That is no reflection of where I am. I'm genuinely happy for that person. 

So here's how you can practice this. So you might do it silently. So when you see someone else thriving, so a colleague gets an award, or a friend shares good news, or you see one of those posts on social media, I just want you to pause and smile and say, “I am so glad that they're experiencing this.” Even just doing that will help to shift your emotional state. You can also just send a little text or a comment underneath and just say, “so proud of you. That's amazing.” You don't have to do this long thing. Keep it just a sentence or two words. But when you do that, that really is a boost to them, and that's tapping into that altruism. You do something nice for someone else, you get a win right back yourself. 

Maybe you make it bigger and you do kind of like a public announcement. So in a meeting or some sort of group setting, you're gonna highlight someone else's success by saying, “Oh my gosh, did you guys hear about what Jasmine accomplished last week?” And get to share that boost publicly. And maybe, maybe what you do this week then, is you create this freudenfreude flash, which means that you are going to challenge yourself to celebrate one person each day. And you can do it silently. You can do it publicly. It can be big, it can be small. Maybe you say out loud that you love that person's outfit, or what amazing shoes they have on. Or it can be something big like, whoa, what a huge accomplishment. You cross the finish line of that marathon. Whoa, that is major. Celebrate that right?  

Maybe you take this further. Remember turning that dial up and you're gonna actually write this down in your journal or start a brand new journal that is a freudenfreude- so by the way, this is spelled F-R-E-U-D-E-N-F-R-E-U-D-E. Let me spell that again, just in case you missed it. F-R-E-U-D-E-N. F-R-E-U-D-E. That is all one word, freudenfreude. So maybe you start a freudenfreude journal. Oh, I love that. I got a lot of journals and I love like, starting a new journal. What a great new journal to start. And you write down one joyful moment you noticed in someone else's life. 

You know, it's a great practice to write down our own joyful moments. Absolutely. But how cool is if we notice someone else's joy. What an incredible record of happiness that you have. And then I want you to think about when you notice joy for others, how often that comes back to you. So when you model this, others are more likely to celebrate your wins as well, and that feels so good, and again, builds deeper relationships.

Maybe you make this a daily habit and you pair it with something else. You know that's a great strategy for building habits. So while you're brushing your teeth in the morning, you're going to ask, whose joy can I celebrate today? Maybe you set an alarm or write a sticky note- those are always the reminders that I suggest- that you are looking for other people's accomplishments and celebrations that you then can celebrate. I love this so much. 

So here's what I want you to play around with. So maybe you just again, start that flash and every single day you're going to look for this and you're going to silently notice it in your mind. Maybe at least two days this week, you're going to send a couple freudenfreude texts and just send them off to people that you see that are, need a little celebration and just celebrate it with no expectation in return. Maybe you do this like in your group setting again, celebrating. So rather than when you come together, rather than celebrating something that happened to you, maybe you, you change it up a little bit and you have people celebrate each other before you get the meeting started. 

Here's what's so cool about this. It's contagious. Once we start doing this, then we start really seeing all these examples, right? You know, our brain needs an assignment. When we give our brain this assignment, it will find it. When we start looking for reasons to celebrate others, the world feels lighter, it feels warmer, it feels more connected, and I think in the world right now, this is what we need.

So I'm going to do this this week. It's one of my favorite things to do. Uh, I just, I love to celebrate other people and I'm gonna really make a conscious effort to do this every single day this week. And I'm gonna challenge myself to make it public in some way, either saying it to that person or about that person. I love talking good behind people's back, and I think it's just gonna make, oh, this week feel really good and I hope you try it and I hope you find the same result.  

As always, you guys, ugh, we're so grateful for Adrienne. She gets this on to you. I just sit here. I'm sitting in a hotel room, very lonely hotel room recording this. I send it to her, she makes the magic happen. We're so grateful. I'm also so grateful that I get to sit in this hotel room after working with educators because of the work that I do with Solution Tree and Marzano Resources. And as always, you the listener. You are incredible. I'm so grateful for you. I'm cheering so hard for you as you move through this week. I am in awe of the work you do every day. Keep going, keep going, keep going. Make it a great week, you guys. I love you.