Episode 8: Make a Stop-Doing List

Description: In this episode, Dr. Tina Boogren invites educators to try creating a stop-doing list and identify what to let go as a way to reduce stress and calm the nervous system. Instead of adding more to your plate, learn how letting go can restore balance, focus, and wellbeing.

Resources:  Inspiration for this episode from Health with Holland (Facebook and Instagram). Use the code Wellness20 to get 20% off Tina's book 180 Day of Physical Wellness for Busy Educators.

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Transcription: Hi, and welcome to Self-Care for Educators. I am your host, Dr. Tina Boogren, and this is episode eight of season six, and I want to just start by sending you some more big love. I paused last week before I started and just wanted to send you all sorts of good vibes and energy and as we're moving into these “ber,” months that end in BER months, they can be really hard during the school year. You might be feeling like you're in that survival phase. You might feel like you've got one toe or one foot or both feet in disillusionment, and I want to say that I see you and I'm sending you so much love. The job is hard. This is very normal. I know normal doesn't make things better, but recognizing that you're not alone can feel like a lifesaver, a life preserver during these times.

And in fact, that leads us to this week's invitation. So this week's invitation is about creating a to-don't list. We all, many of us, love a to-do list. Many of you have heard me say this. Boy, do I love a to-do list. I love a to-do list so much that I am pretty confident that most days I put something on my to-do list that I've already done just so I can get that dopamine hit of crossing it off. And I know some of you can relate to this. 

So here's what we know in this really busy time of the school year when we are stressed and our nervous system takes a hit, what's happening is our brain starts prioritizing survival. And by doing that, it's keeping you in that fight or flight mentality that many of us know about.

And that just impacts everything. It impacts our sleep, and it impacts our metabolism and it impacts our hormones. And so when we keep adding to our to-do list, we're typically just making things worse, especially if things are not getting crossed off. So if we instead embrace this mentality of creating a stop doing list, a stop doing list, what that's gonna do is send that signal to our brain and therefore to our nervous system, that we are safe, that we are gonna let some things go in order to save ourselves. And what this does is it reduces our cortisol, it helps to improve our sleep, which we so, so desperately need right now, and it just is really good for our brains and our whole kind of mental wellness. 

So I got this from a Facebook post that actually Adrienne had shared with me, and I just love all of this. So this was actually shared by Health with Holland. Health with Holland is where this originally came from so I want to give her full credit for that. And what I love is she shared many ideas of things that we can think about for our stop doing list. So I'm going to share some of those things that she shared, because I think they're great.

So on our stop doing list could be, we are going to stop scrolling right before we go to bed. We know all of that research on the blue light, it delays melatonin, it makes it hard to sleep. Here's another thing. We might stop skipping meals. We need to eat. Remember, this is our physical wellness. We deserve to eat, so maybe we're going to stop skipping meals. We're gonna actually pack a breakfast, or at least drink a protein shake on the way to work. We're going to pause and we're going to actually eat lunch and we're going to eat a full dinner sitting down. 

How about this one? What if we stop saying yes when our body is screaming at us to say no? When we are constantly people pleasing, we are dysregulating our entire nervous system.

So perhaps we're going to stop saying yes when we know deep down that that should be a no. How about we stop eating dinner right before we lay down that digestion that needs to occur can't occur when we're trying to get a good night's sleep. This is why I actually, one of my favorite things to do is to take a walk after dinner. It helps with digestion. It's a good mental reset. I think that's a great idea. 

How about this one? Let's stop comparing our progress to anyone else's. In fact, let's just stop comparing ourselves to anyone else, period. But we know that when we engage in that comparison piece, we get in this chronic stress loop, and that can be detrimental to our mental wellness.

And how about this one? What if we decide that we are going to stop shoveling our food in. That when we actually eat those meals, we are going to stop and actually eat those meals. Remember, we've talked about tricks before to help us with this. So I think it's really helpful, I always slow down when I remove distractions. I also know that it's important for me to practice FIMFOP- strategy right out of 180 days for physical wellness. And FIMFOP stands for food in mouth, fork on plate, which just means instead of that shoveling in as fast as possible, purposely slowing down. That can be a huge, huge piece for helping us actually recognize our hunger and fullness cues and it helps aid with our whole digestion. 

So I also went on the comments on this Facebook post and I saw some other people's ideas to add to their stop doing list, and I love it so much. So someone said that they were going to stop wishing that they were somewhere else. Instead, adopt that mentality of blossom where you are currently planted. So when you are at school or work, be fully there and enjoy it. And when you are at home, be fully present and enjoy it. 

So other ideas of thinking about stop, oh, hitting snooze so many times in the morning. Remember, this is our trick that we learned from Mel Robbins. The five second rule. That alarm goes off. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, go get your body up and out of bed. Absolutely love that one. 

So that's what I want you to think about this week. So instead of getting wrapped up in our to-do list, and we just keep adding to our to-do list, and we're making our nervous system all crazy and adding to our stress. What if we try a different list this week and we try a stop doing list and we give it a shot and we see what works? You know, I'm a big fan of action research. Just try it. Try it for this week, one week, give it a week, and at the end of the week, decide did it work for you? Great. Keep adding to your stop doing list and if it didn't work for you, okay. So maybe you found another strategy along the way or you thought of something else, or you found a different way to kind of ease your stress. It's all good. It's all good. But that's what I'm gonna work on this week, and so I wanted to offer that up to you as well. Let's work on a stop doing list. I love the sound of that.

As always, oh, we're so grateful for you, Adrienne, especially because you were the one that sent this to me and said, ohh, this might be a good idea for us and for the podcast, and I could not agree more. So grateful. Also, so grateful to Solution Tree and Marzano Resources. I just love this job so much, even when it's hard and I'm stressed. And to you the badass self-care squad. Man, we are so incredibly grateful that we're in this together. We're gonna get through this. We really are. I promise we are. If things feel really dark, I promise you it's going to get better. Reach out, find your support people. Take care of yourself. Start your stop doing list and see if it helps. Really, really give it your full effort and see if it helps because I think it will. I think it will. Have an amazing week you guys. I'm cheering so hard for you. Feel my hand on your back as you move through the week and know I love you so much..